Something has happened over the last little while for me. I’ve just simply become tired of working to make it look like everything is perfect and I have it all together. I thought it was because I was just tired, but I’m not actually tired, just tired of working on things that I don’t care that much about. Which is I guess trying to prove that I can multi-task, work long hours, deal with the ups and downs of life and still say “I’m fine”. But there is a deeper level here and the main thing that finally shifted for me was that I am a teacher and I was beginning to feel like a fraud. I empower people to connect to themselves on a deeper level so that we can create a stronger community together. I teach people essentially to own their shit and love themselves for it. So, if this is what I teach and what I believe in, then I’m not going to hide away anymore when I hit a rough patch. I’m going to be honest about my feelings, not just with myself and my family but wear it like a badge of honour.
Yesterday I was blessed to be asked to speak as part of the first webinar of the year for WIFA (Women in Fitness Association) on: The Year of YES! There were three of us set to speak, and I went first. And in the most honest and respectful way I knew how I spent 15 minutes sharing how I had to reach my darkest point six months ago until I finally drew up the courage to say yes to myself, and to the life I really wanted. I shared my personal story in the hopes that even one person out there listening could relate and use this as a bit of fuel for themselves to take action for change. The other two spoke and shared wonderful ideas about meditation and other ways to empower themselves to say yes and I took a bunch of notes as I’m sure everyone else did too. But a funny thing happens sometimes when you open your heart up and get really real with a bunch of people you don’t know. A little voice inside says you shared too much. This is the problem with being vulnerable, it’s not comfortable. It’s like throwing all the covers off at once. You are left exposed with nowhere to hide, your secrets spread out for the world to see, and the recording to be shared over and over again. I had that moment yesterday, though it was just a moment, because I knew that was why I did it. To show vulnerability, because we all need to get better at doing this.
When we can be vulnerable with each other, healing can begin. When we listen to each others stories, compassion grows. It’s no longer me against you, or how can I be better than them, but how can we come together and move through the obstacles and challenges of life together. I’m done with the sink or swim mentality. I’m sick of jealousy and trying to prove myself all the time, because I’m great as I am – and so are you! We are all a wonderful work in progress. We are all striving for acceptance and connection, the irony is we already have the capacity for it. It’s already there in our heart, we just need to be willing to open up and share our truth.
How are you vulnerable to the world? Or, how can you be?
In love and light, namasté